She Who Dares Wins, Inspiring Interview

We all love inspiring stories, aren't we? We all want to hear about true experiences, about authentic people and draw the inspiration from it! And this is what Stylezza is trying to achieve and convey for you! I invite you to read this amazing interview with a woman that will stir your emotions and good energy, a fabulous being to discover! Here it is Heidi Fossali, fashion lover, self development coach, business woman and much more!

Dear Heidi, we think of interviews in order to share stories and inspire. What is your story, Heidi?

I have always had an inbuilt desire to help others to feel powerful, beautiful and confident! It started when I was in my late 18. I loved the idea of beauty, fashion, fitness. So, there's where my journey started!

I was a young girl in London, and I was working, I was doing some modelling and, then, I decided to take off around the world with a backpack it felt empowered at that time. It was an amazing adventure!

I worked, also, as a fashion editor in Australia. It was a little like "Devil Wears Prada", actually! And, from there, I got back to Fashion College in London, worked for couture houses ...loved that! I soon realized that fashion was one of my passions. I knew I was an exercise freak! I used to be very sporty at school which that transitioned for me into joining sport club and being one of their best member. That was amazing! Then, I decided I wanted to be a personal trainer as fitness was another passion of mine.

I was at a beauty college for about three years before travelling so faces and beauty were other passions in my life. So, I decided ... once I got all these elements, the fashion, the fitness and the faces, I put a Consultancy together to help other amazing women to be the best versions of themselves. Powerful, confident, know their values, have the courage and confidence to step out in life and be amazing and fabulous! So, I started the Consultancy in London: be healthy, be beautiful, be stylish and I worked with different people like bankers, new moms, who lost their bodies and wanted them back, needed a new wardrobe, a perfect clientele. It was empowering helping these women! I walked the walk, talked the talk and this is really a part of me.

And this is what you are doing right now ...

Yes, now I brought the concept to the French Riviera. I came here fourteen years ago, worked as a stylist for three years in a row, loved that! Eventually, I created the same Consultancy here and, since then, I have been interested in the psychology behind the way women feel about themselves. In the last two years, I have studied to be a coach and, now, the Consultancy is led by that coaching! I always have an internal dialogue with the client before we venture anywhere! And, I think is very important, especially when it comes to empowerment, about how you feel about you!  

You do all this by videos, also ...

Yes, I have done a couple of videos and I liked that ..I am at my strongest exchanging energy with someone!

How does the coaching looks like?

I had a couple of clients who had flown me to their home.  I went to London for three days, and this lady was going through a divorce, she was feeling out of source so I went there, we talked about, we did some coaching, I took her to the gym, I gave her an exercise programme, we got her a new dress and she felt fabulous. Sometimes, we work from the outside in or from the inside out which is, in fact, about how you feel about you. It's not about me giving a lipstick, this it's not going to make you feel good until you feel good about your values and your beliefs. I'm really living it!

So, what defines you as a woman, if you are living it?

I am in a transition in my life, at the moment! I am gathering all my weapons to try to be the voice of these women who find themselves a little bit stuck.

Which stage of life do you refer of?

It's emptiness! My children have flown, I am divorced, I am dating, I am looking at the body who is getting at the middle of life so you want to make sure you're keeping it healthy, making it as strong as possible. So, you're venturing into a new phase, you've taken off that motherhood to find your womanhood . That's really powerful!

That's two separate things: motherhood and womanhood?

I feel we find ourselves stuck in motherhood and it's the getting out of that boat because we have a list of priorities and now we're getting at the top of our list, again. And you loose your "I" factor, that inner beauty, that ...

Time for yourself ...

Yes! Relaunch, reinvent! This is a big part of what I am doing!

As a mother-role, do you think this was lost?

It's difficult to maintain during the parenting years because having children gives you the chance to not put yourself at the top of the list because you tend to become a little bit selfish, so the joy of having a child does release you from that! And, I quite liked that!

That's another side of being a woman ...

Yes! Creating the environment for your child to learn and experience is my most favourite thing I have ever ever done! It's the best thing I had! But, finding yourself when that period has gone is the challenge! And I'm living it! And I find doubting myself, I find myself with not enough confidence so I keep trying to fake it till I make it. It's an authenticity that I want to share with women! I am as frightened as you, often, and I self doubt but playing small doesn't help anyone.

So, what is the secret to pass from one stage of life to another?

It's knowing what you want, it's to have the courage to decide what you're passionate about. You may remember that you loved writing before you had children but you have forgotten. For me, I like to uncover or discover your passions. The word is passion but it's actually what you love to do. Tapping into your passions, which gives you the confidence because you know you like it and you can do it well, knowing your strengths. We all have our weaknesses but we have to accept them, just focus on yours strengths. And, also, what are your non-negotiables, what would you not sacrifice to get what you want!

Do you think this is the first stage for women in order to act further ...?

Yes! The first stage is to look into your life you are having right now, to know that you are 100% responsible for what you're having. You have to step up, it's no use blaming anyone else! What do you want? Why do you want it? What are going to do to get it? Do you want to change your life? Do you want to change a small aspect of your life? You want to get fitter? Ok! Admit it, commit to it and take action about it!

What motivates women to take the action, because it's not simple ...?

It's scary! It's scary because you have to admit, accept and take actions!

Where your confidence comes from? How you build it?

I have little tricks ..

What are your tricks?

My tricks are the "I am" statements. Choose three words that will empower you. I often say "I am confident!", "I am capable!", and "I am dynamic!", "I am lovable!", "I am passionate!", "I am curious!". So, start your day with three "I am".

What's your favourite colour in your wardrobe, get that! What's your perfume everyone is talking about, put that, stand up, posture as the actual physiology can show your confidence.  Even the superficial thing! And think positively! That negative talk doesn't help anyone! And the conversations in our head ...

We have to erase that voices in our heads ...

Yes! That negative chat! Just close your eyes and take deep breaths, on the spot!

So, how does a routine day looks like for Heidi?

I get up around 6:30, I make my coffee, I do 15 minutes meditation, then I exercise. At around 8:30-9:00, I finish my exercises, and I feel strong. I put some really cool music, music I feel like I need that day, take my shower and start my day. The night before, I put down my schedule of what I want to achieve the following day, the actions for the next day and the joy of scratching them after.

The discipline of a routine makes me feel powerful. So, I really believe in exercise, in meditation, in coffee (laughters), and I take time to look after my skin.

You look amazing! So, what are your secrets?

The most important elements, in this order: eating, exercise, sleep!

What do you eat?

I am very disciplined with my food!

Are you a vegetarian?

I am a vegetarian, but I eat fish. But I am mostly on a plant based diet, low carbs, low sugar, low dairy! If I have any carbs, it's probably at the beginning of the day, so I'm having a greenie piece of bread, dark bread with butter and my coffee or, if I just came back from the gym, I might do my green juice. I believe in vegetable and not fruits which contain too much sugar! At lunch, I have protein and salad, for dinner I have vegetables. I drink about four glasses of fine wine a week. It's my thing and I will not tell anyone not to drink wine unless they are on a very strict diet. That's a nice little thing!

Do you drink a lot of water during the day?

Surprisingly, I don't! And I think it's because my diet has a lot of water in it! Some people do, some people don't!

For the exercise part, I do weights. I do aerobics, I run, I power walk, but I also go to the gym. I really believe in strength.

How much time do you exercise?

One hour and a half per day, four times a week! I believe it's more about weights, you need to built muscles because your metabolism goes down with age and you end up putting on weight, naturally. Also, for the posture, having nice shoulders, shaping your arms!

For the sleeping part, I sleep seven-eight hours per night! From 10:30 to 6:30 or 11 to 7, definitely before midnight! Anything after midnight, it's a different form of sleep.

It's about what you eat, how much you exercise, how you think. Your attitude is so important so I try to keep negativity away, but I'm a coach so I absorb what people say ..

Do you have a barrier to protect yourself?

No, that's my weakness! I'm so empathetic, I carry everyone's emotions...

What do you do to get off the burden?

Meditation and exercise! It shifts everything! I fight it all the time because I jump in with the client. But, it's also strength because the empathy and the connection are so powerful and I connect with people very very well. I feel and I like it!

Do you have a story of your own that you can share and inspire our readers?

If I can do it, you can do it! I got divorced ten years ago. These last ten years have been frightening and fabulous, at the same moment. I decided I wanted to divorce so that was traumatic because I was choosing for my children which was very torturous for me, but I wanted my children to know that they have the freedom to choose their part in life. It's not like the old school where you stay, no matter what. And, would they want me to stay in a marriage where I wasn't fulfilled or feeling that I would not reach my potential? For them, would they want me to do that? I, literally, had to make an important decision and it was traumatic. I had to pack my boxes and leave with the girls, because it was a difficult moment. So from that moment on, I was alone with my daughters creating a new life.

It's inspiring because you had the power to make the action...

Yes! And into a country where I didn't speak the language! With no income! So, I started doing all the things that I loved to do and created my own business and raised my daughters on my own. I created a brand workshop for teenagers and I knew I had this opportunity because I was empowering my daughters with knowledge, with tips, leading by example, wanting them to see how independence looks like, to see how freedom, power, choice look like. They loved it, we were like the three musketeers. And I guess I did it right because they are at great schools now, one in America, one in London, and they are amazing young adults. They are the medals I wear, nothing else matters.

What would be your message for the women who read this interview?

If you believe in yourself, other people will believe in you! She who dares wins! Dare to make the change because playing small won't get you anywhere! No rewind, this is your life and I'm as scared as you are! And I don't want you to play small because I'm not playing small! I'm only half way!

We all need to reboot our life, sometimes, because we get stuck, we all have dreams and goals in the back of our mind that we keep shifting further back because the fear of not accomplishing it can be so powerful that it's not even worth trying, and it's scary to try because you put yourself out there. What if you might fail? But better fail than not to try. I fight this with myself all the time. So, when I have a client I say "I know how you feel!" because I truly do. I'm coaching people who are versions of me but I have the skills and the tools to reinvent transition and reboot your life.

Where do you see your adventure going?

I would love to create a global platform, a tribe and be the leader and the voice of these women! Going to schools around the world, create a TV reality show for women and for teenagers, the relationship mother-daughter, I want to work with women in the ageing process. It's scary, let's talk about ageing! Let's talk about the best version you can be now and help you feel beautiful exactly how you want it, today. And, if you want to change the future, come, let's create change!

You are, definitely, a strong beautiful woman who will inspire many women! And you're authentic, and that's the most important!

It's my goal and it's my mission!

Interview by Andra Oprea